Saturday, January 11, 2014

Nuthin Could Be Finer Than to Reach The Number tha moooo..o.o ning...

I am a bit behind on my 30 paintings in 30 days, so here are Number 8 and Number 9.  The top one, Number 8, was done out of my head while I was coming down with a flu bug, splitting headache must have helped me believe I could paint.  The lower one, Number 9, I did tonight still with a headache, but from an old photo I found.  I am pondering the fact that this artistic challenge is bringing me back to the past, and I wonder why that is.  I have mountains and mountains of good digital photos not yet tackled, but I am digging up old photos out of old shoe boxes.  Maybe when I feel well again I will have time to figure that one out.

So, after reading Robert Genn's letter on "style", I did attack Number 9 (the lower one) with a big brush, I honestly did, not easy, but I did.  The tiny little canvas is only 5 x 7, and I used one inch brushes...okay, I cheated and used a few dabs with a no.3, but the rest I clumsily stuck to the big brush for such a tiny canvas.  And maybe tomorrow I will see if that was helpful or not, I can't tell right now.

Onward we go...Number 10 should arrive at some point this weekend...maybe...time to go watch Cash Cab!

*** Saturday, January 11, upon viewing in Facebook and here.... the next day....

I am pondering my artist psyche today, how it is supposed to fit in with all of this challenge.  I am finding this art immersion therapy a good way to look at myself, as in habits and personality and moods...oh, the dreaded moods, so irregular.  I am thinking through my bleary eyes that I probably need to just push through the weekend and try to not analyze myself today, I'm fine.  right  But on the other brain wave, I am feeling an urge to explain the next day thing, the morning after pill of reality checking myself.  Uh huh.  Okay, I think Robert is right about the big brush, it keeps me less fussy and focused on details that don't matter.  If I were to be painting something that must show every detail to give the complete effect of what it is, then maybe I'd be best to use the little brushes.  BUT...this is supposed to say... " a beautiful sunset evening beyond the hills of gardens deep in the countryside"  so what would be the point of painting details rose petals and fir tree branches?  This isn't a new lesson for me, I know it well.  I recall years of classes where the instructor would come over and remove the small brush from my hand and replace it with a large brush, and smile and walk away.  I remember many many instances of leaving small brushes at home when going out to paint, only to end up asking if I can borrow someone's small brush because I just could NOT stand to paint without it.  It's kind of an addiction thing, maybe there's a group I can go to about this.  SBAA,,,Small Brush Artist Anonymous... or I could form one.

Oh well, does it matter how I view my own bad habits and ways of painting if others seem to appreciate them?  That's a good question.  Online sharing of works and words is a never ending lesson for me in ways to stop comparing who I am to others, what others are thinking of me (which in the most part is good things, or not at all...right) and understanding that the truest purpose in being an artist is what I do at the easel, the rest is just "stuff" that creates imaginary problems that don't exist, probably, and if they do, it doesn't mean anything as far as how I paint and project myself.  I notice no one else is doing this public online self analyzing, could this be I am the only one who sails around mentally in vague absurd scenarios that I create on my own? like, like, like...for instance, my "artpage" in Facebook dropped one number, it went from 150 down to 149... WHAT???  and I was just about to click and go and see if I could figure out who left so I could snub them next time I saw them at Safeway, or somewhere...but then remembered, who cares.  the number 150 is no different than 2 or 2000 as far as who I am as an artist.  That is a mental game to push me into thinking numbers mean a lot, and they don't.  Sure, I like to hear that posting my art is appreciated, that's why we paint, isn't it?  .. to share our vision of what makes us feel complete and happy, share our window to the world. Not get caught up on numbers and the names that don't click like and comment, why do I do that?  I was going to say "we", but Heaven knows I should not assume the rest of society is as nuts as me.

Again, this writing is very tinged with sarcastic self teasing humour, if I can't laugh at myself, just who can I laugh at.  I know the best way to improve myself today, and that would to begin with a hot bath and put rollers in my hair and maybe a bit of make up.

Thank you Robert Genn, for lots of enduring inspiration and teaching I always need, and to Sara as well.  and thank you to the others taking this challenge that I know of, and the ones I don't too, and all my friends and family who appreciate who I am, and to (this is starting to sound like I just won an Academy Award) each and every person who takes up a brush, big or small, to tell their story.  The world would be a bleak and chaotic place for me if we didn't have each other.

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