Monday, February 3, 2014

**pant pant puff puff gasp gasp** 22, 23, 24 *huff pant gasp* 25 26.... only 3 more to go, no 4..right, 4 more to go

Catch-up blog, these are Number 22, 23, 24, 25 and 26, order going from bottom to top, not that it matters what order, they were all done in one go,  now there's a contradiction, done in one go, right.  Are they done?  or am I just abandoning them?  I am thinking of doing this one sketch directly over my typing here in a larger form, maybe 24x24, or 30x30, and just leaving this as a sketch.  There is something so special in a sketch like these that gets lost in a full time painting.  The freshness of colour and looseness of the refreshed brush before she gets to that point of.. "Oh, God, I am so tired of looking at this thing, tell me I can sign it now...please say "sign me" so I can start another one" know, that kind of difference.  I will leave these as sketches.  To paint on with them would make them end up entirely different. I don't think this Challenge is to prove we can come up with 30 paintings that look like all of our other paintings. I think we are supposed to end up with something we learn from, that's what I think.  But then again, we probably all think a little differently from each other, and that's important too, take our own thinks as worthy for what they are to ourselves, right.

One of the main lessons I learn through this fast paint and post challenge is looking at what I paint.  I recall the days of not having a computer, when I painted I would walk away "happy" with an image in my mind, and when I returned to look at it, I'd wonder who made that mess.  Both of those conclusions and self criticizes were inaccurate. I too often couldn't see where I was making good brushstrokes and colour choices, and too often believed some choices were good.  I also was really BAD at "friend critiques" that told me to do things I didn't come up with myself, so ignored them.  I will decide where and what I do with MY paint, SO THERE!  And that may have contributed to it taking me 40 years to figure things out, maybe if I didn't act like a defiant 14 year old, I'd be in the history books before I die, or after.  Anyways, today is where I am, and today feels pretty good.  I go to my "day after" to look at the photo I put in the computer and marvel at how much better a job I did than I remember, knowing I can leave that alone and start another one.  I know real life is not a glowing image on a computer screen.  I know reality is far from what a photo tells. I know reality is better, so for me to even think I am successful in a photo, I concur that is not a worrisome thing. ...well, in an optimistic mode that is.  Besides, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, if I like it, I'll move onto the next.

Twenty seven is calling me.... I must go....

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