Monday, January 5, 2015

Number 4 Confusion Gives Way To Doubt

30 Paintings In 30 Days Challenge
Number 4

I think I should title this one " Diary Of A Confused Artist ", or maybe that should be this blog title, or both.  SO... I am sticking with the program, in the face of adversity, I am sticking with it.  I would like to just file this painting memory all together, but no, here it is.  Today was an off day.  I am still dragging around the house, trying to remove decorations, taking them all down for 2014.  I miss the light in this dark house when the decorations come down.  All in all, it was a wonderful Christmas.  But January creeps in with darkness again as I strain my eyes to see.

I suppose this darkened mood wasn't the best way to approach my painting of the day.  Or, maybe my sense of failure with Number 4 darkened the day for me, not sure which came first.  I can accept failure alright, I knew when I was posting this thing it was rather awful, but I did it anyways.  The Challenge is to challenge ME, and no one else.  If in the process I gain feedback and kind support, that's an added plus to the whole endeavor.  If I am so insecure that I allow myself to sulk because I didn't produce what my ego needs, time to grow up, Mary Ann.  Yeah, like Joan Rivers would say..   "OH, GROW UP"

What did I learn today?  I remembered that non-representational art is not easy.  To paint from nothing gives me no plan to follow, and in a split second, all Hell breaks loose and what once looked alright, is lost.  I forgot about that aspect of painting with no plan.  Yesterday, I planned on painting very little and that would be it.  Today, I allowed myself too much time to explore, and was quickly lost.  I confused myself to the point of needing to start all over, but instead, I'll just leave this as is. 

Tomorrow is a new day, I'll start over with Number 5.

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