Sunday, February 22, 2015

The Real Story... Number 25

I believe I am down to only five left of my 30 paintings in 52 days.  I have extended that now to 30 paintings in two months, and since February only has 28 days, and the average amount of days per month overall is 30, I think it may be into March when I cross the finish line.  I do need to get the 30 done, I think I pledged to donate some works soon so my mind needs to give that some attention, soon.  Soon, one of those best words ever, "soon".  Kind of like "whatever", another one of my favourite words.

SO... here is a shapshot of reality here, Number 25.


Notice how I allowed my studio partner to be in the photo?  I decided, according to my present mood, that there's nothing wrong with exposing the real world of the artist here.  Besides that, my studio partner is poorly disciplined, if I shouted for him to get down, he'da jumped up into the set up, chancing the tragedy of breaking some precious sentimental values, so I kept quiet.

Back to the the painting, right.  I made the mistake of deciding I could make magic out of painting this still life over an old unfinished painting that showed no promise of success whatsoever.  I have come to realize that some canvasses are cursed.  It's the surface thing, I call that surface tension, not scientific, a total art spirit law.  True fact, some canvases receive like magic, some fight.  I should know better, if I struggle with a painting for months, then give up on it, then decide to paint over it using the texture underneath, there's a risk there that it won't work.  I absolutely LOVE painting on new canvas.  Painting over an old failed painting is comparable to taking a bath in someone else's bath water.  Oh, sure, as child that was okay, but as an adult..yeeeeccch.  Okay, maybe not a good comparison, but still, I do know better.  I suppose I gambled there would be a happy accident law come into play, and lost.

I also see I made my grandmother's jug/vase too wide, and that plate.. oh GOD... why did I put in the plate???.... I kept asking myself that all through the work. I had it too light, then too detailed, then too dark, then too bright, then too... TOO TOO MUCH!  So I made a choice to let go of it.  I had to let go of trying to make it appealing and important, let it go, Mary Ann.  So I did.  I also let go of the unkind surface that now is "patching" in real life.  Not only the unwanted textures of a bad painting of trees underneath, there are glossy spots and dead dull spots that I doubt will bond over time.  It's pretty close to dry now, I think this is it.

Does this painting merit a signature and frame?  Or do I turn it to the wall and maybe try another one over it again some challenge time ahead?  Well, considering the retrospective look back over this cursed canvas, I choose number one, sign it, frame it, put it in some small wall spot where it might blend into life with us.  But certainly don't add one drop of paint to it ever again.  Good choice.

I am in one of my philosophical moods right now.  The house is empty for the whole day except for my two studio partners and I.  I have this day to do whatever I want. Not often does that happen.  Oh, I can usually do whatever I want, but not with the house unoccupied at the same time.  The quiet of alone is kind of daunting, actually.  Not sure where to start my creative process, so why not type endlessly for a bit, then go hit up a NEW canvas for number 26.  Maybe this clearing out of thoughts will refresh my painting brain.

It really is a metaphorical world when we paint.  I am forever pondering the parallels between life and creating art.  I once wrote in another blogland that doesn't exist anymore, that each painting is a relationship with time.  In the beginning, there is hope and dreams of wonder, a sense of being in love and all is perfect, like a love affair.  But, once together long enough to see the faults and difficulties, the blossoming glow dissipates, and reality sets in, work is needed, no blissful dancing anymore.  Compromising, problem solving, trying to recapture the glow of love from the beginning gets lost somehow, so a need to find a level ground to make it work out comes into play.  Any of us who are blessed with long time relationships know about that aspect.  Patience and endurance is a very good thing to have.  And that is because we know we have something worth fighting for.

I look at the plate in this painting as some of my problems through life's experiences.  I have moments of clear recall, and I know that means I need to let them go.  My brain mill keeps retreading it's wheels with this stuff.  Unlike a few blogs ago here of finding that "it's okay" platitude, today I see things with a response of "that was not okay", and "why did I allow that?" or "what was I thinking??"  Not saying I'm not over those nasty little plates that keep replaying now and then, I am.  And I do see how they fit into the life set up.  Like the painting, there are areas of success, items that reflect love and a happy life, tensions that only I understand, and instances that I can blur and let go of.  Because, overall, it is worth the effort and time.

It's time to move on.  I didn't buy those daffodils I planned on the other day.  I am tempted to lie down and sleep, but I won't.  I think I will set up some things without flowers, maybe some of Grandma's china ornaments with this jug/vase? and with some decorative plates?  I must not give up putting in the plates, because if I do that, they will have beaten me, can't let that happen.

Onward and upward...




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